creepthoughts

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Dolphin sex pt 2

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mbvd/woman-reveals-she-had-a-sexual-relationship-with-a-dolphin?utm_term=.dngorkG1w#.spNB62480

If you google dolphin sex, you will actually see a bunch of stories about dolphins getting sexually attracted to humans. I even read one about a dolphin who committed suicide after their trainer left cuz they were so deep in love.

So I wonder - if dolphins can fall in love with sex with a human, and we can communicate with them, does that count as consent? Because I always heard that the legal reason why beastiality was illegal is because dolphins can't consent. But maybe a consenting dolphin is no different than a consenting 12-year old, and should still be illegal.

Or maybe beastiality laws need to be rethought. Get to work, Trump.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Great minds think

Great band name - Bearthoven ... It's disappointing that Macy's doesnt sell mace... ... What type of AIDs do you get at a wedding? BridesmAIDs... ... A great named for a guy would be Stan Keyleg . . . I actually like getting a stuffy nose. I enjoy any time I can blow some thick white stuff out of one of my orifices. . .. . This is actually a legitimate business idea: a website where people can track when their internet is lagging. Call it; Capture the Lag.. . .. .. The other day I was on a date and I was showing this girl a video of me ice skating. But I accidentally showed her an upskirt video I took of a Japanese girl on the train the other day. I was all like, yo dont judge me, that shits legal now in some states.. . . .. The best thing you can do for a long train ride is to find the nearest fat man and lean on him. His fat will act as a pillow allowing for you to have a carefree slumber.... . ..

Monday, December 1, 2014

Dolphin Sex Jokes

If I was a person addicted to having sex with dolphins, these would be my go-to jokes at parties:

How does a dolphin give a blowjob? (Wait for crowd to say 'with its blowhole!')

-I wouldn't know, cuz I usually rape them.

Why do I have sex with dolphins?

-For me, they have no other porpoise for existence.

Did I ever tell you about the dolphin who got free from me?

-It was a fluke occurrence.

Can you anally rape dolphins?

-No, dolphins don't poop, that's what makes them the most innocent creature in the sea.

Can you create a dolphin-human hybrid through sexual intercourse?

-I wouldn't know, cuz I always use a live lobster's claw to give them seabortions.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

College

My friend in college kept porn in his CD drive of his laptop all the time. Kid was into that porn 24/7.

He had to bring his comp to the tech office at school becuase it was fucked up, they ended up having to give him a new one and im pretty sure they moved the CD from the old one into the new one.