Friday, December 7, 2012

Flow

One great idea I have is for bulletproof designer hats. Now they don't actually have to keep you alive after a bullet, but just have to give you enough confidence to roll thru the hood guns blazin
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One of the most strange realities for a new homeless female crack addict is that most of the other male crack addicts cum is black.  So just fyi if your panties are looking like they just went thru an oil spill.

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The other day I was in the middle of the city and everyone was crowded around some sort of street performer.  There was music, laughter and a generally carousing atmosphere so I decided to check it out.  Then I realized that everyone was looking at a terrorist, like one of those guys with a suicide bomb attached to his shirt.  I felt pretty honored to meet such a celebrity.

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I was speaking to a foreigner who was just beginning to learn the English language.  They knew the word cunt, but what I told them that might surprise you is that this word was actually invented by Jesus.

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Serious question for pedophiles- if you have a choice to bang Jessica Alba or some hella ugly child who would you choose?

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I like to pee into the short stall because I have a really long dick.

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Forget Google Glass, what I want to invent is like more of an eyepatch.  Then in the future piratism will become vogue again and I can get to eat limes all day like all the cool guys do.

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If southern people are so racist, why did they invent slavery?  

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If you are a high school girl trying to score alcohol, quit trying to get creepy old men to buy for you.  Just grow yourself a moustache.  You will be able to avoid a lot of scarring blumpkin experiences with sweaty old men like myself.