Some good advice

If you want a free anal bead experience, just try this: swallow an avocado pit whole. When it comes out the other end, you'll see what I mean. --- A girl once told me, "I have a really shameful story, and I don't feel comfortable to tell you. I'm too ashamed." I looked her in the eyes, and said, "You are overestimating how shocked I can get. I guarantee you I've seen more shocking things than your story in a horror movie." --- Virgin airlines recently allowed texting between passengers through their video screens. It was made for the purpose of flirting. Conveniently, they also added this note: "Virgin airlines will also be providing free brown paper bags in the bathroom for sex with butterfaces for your convenience" --- One thing I'm not sure of. In the word PMS, does the P stand for Pre or Post? Cuz I'm seeing bitchiness before and after bloody toilet seats at work. We have a unisex bathroom. It gets interesting. --- If my last name was Pelting, and my brother and I started a natural gas exploration company, I would definitely name our company "Pelting Bros. GasHole Company". And then keep an unnaturally straight face about it, all the time. --- One underrated fact--phlegm makes good lube. Another fact: Bee cum is what honey is. --- Sometimes, on occasion, you just need a real dick in your porn. And a tentacle simply won't do.