I walked over to the dude who lives in the neighboring condo next door. I needed some sugar for my broccoli. I had just freshly steamed the brocolli when I stupidly realized I am out of sugar. what an idiot!! Right? Anyways I ring his doorbell and he comes out and hes got his big ol dong hanging out. I cover my eyes and Im like "man what were you just masturbating just now? why not simply pretend you were not home???"
No silly, he responds. I wasn't masturbating, I was Virtually Masturbating. This isn't my dick, but rather a strap-on with USB connection.
I uncovered my eyes and he was right. He didnt even have a boner.
I"m playing this new video game called "Beat the meat". ITs kind of like the Rock Band of virtual masturbation games. You basically try to rub the dick of a virtual character really well and rack up points if you do a good job. This boss that I am jerking right now is one tough cookie.
"Wow" I said, speechless.
Yeah, he replied. In the future, you know, I bet they will build an interface that allows you to use your own dick in this game, not a strap on. That would be amazing--it would make real life masturbation fun again, something I never dreamed possible just a few short years ago.
By the way, I have that sugar you want. Man I could smell that brocolli cooking a mile away. That stuff stanks!
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